I remember returning to my father's home as an adult child in distress in 2000.

My budding medical career was being threatened by the hostile unethical practises at work, and I was confused & distressed. Daddy once again became the parent I could lean on. In his home, he offered me the invitation to participate in daily prayers; he invited me to take part in meals which he often bought from restaurants; he offered me the space to study and to rest, and the freedom to choose what I wanted to do at any given time on any given day. He stood back, like a true parent, offering prayers, a shelter, and food, while I got through that trying phase. And once that difficult phase was over and I was ready to return to my work place, daddy let me go with his blessings.

Maya Angelou spoke about the liberating love which she experienced from her mother (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbecKv2xR14).

My father offered me the love that is nurturing and the love that is liberating.

Brindavan gardens

When I was around 2 years of age, my parents took a trip to Bangalore and Mysore with me. I know this only from their stories. We visited the Vidhan Soudha, the Brindavan gardens and other tourist attractions over the short break.

I however have a very vivid memory from this time. I remember standing on the steps of a water feature, with dad beside me. When the water started flowing down the steps, I was clearly scared. I have vivid memories of daddy lifting me up and carrying me. This is perhaps the earliest memory I have of my father. I sat in daddy's arms and looked down to see the water flowing, as children usually do.

I remember feeling safe and comfortable in Daddy's arms, that very first time. And that feeling of security and stability is something I have always experienced with my father.

My family was there at my medical graduation in 1999. Daddy had visited me at Vellore very few times during these years. He knew several people who were living & working there. Rt Rev George Isaac (or George Isaac Achen, as we called him) was one of them.

George Isaac Achen and his wife (Kochamma) lived in a house designated for the chaplain, in the college campus. Their home was an open home for several students who lived in the campus. Kochamma always welcomed us with a smile, with food and drinks to satisfy us and with words of wisdom. 

I once visited one of daddy's parishes with him in 2014. I was working in Africa then, and daddy mentioned this in his short speech that Sunday.

One of my father's old parishioners who sat next to me turned to me & asked "why don't you come & work here in Kerala? We pay doctors several lakhs of rupees every month here". I had never thought of the practice of medicine, my vocation, in terms of rupees or GBP that I earned. I was not raised to think that way. It suddenly occured to me that my father had never discussed my salary or lack thereof (while I was volunteering) at any point during my medical career.

In a world which worshipped money and material wealth, living example of a simple non-materialistic life was the hallmark of my father's life. My father's clothes were old & worn out, his plastic sandals were often ripped from walking along the old roads, his watches were gifts from parishioners/ friends, his abode was the one built by his father (and later, by his wife). He always gave money & food to anyone who came in need.

If I have even an ounce of charity in me, I have inherited it from daddy.

My father holds a BSc in Mathematics from SB College (Changanassery, Kerala) and was once a maths teacher at the primary school in Edayaranmula. He has taught mathematics to many of his younger cousins during those early years. He taught at the school along with his father (my grand father) VI Mathai, who was a 'drill master' (who taught physical education). They walked the many miles from their home in Nellikkala to the school each morning and evening, in those days.

This must have been the reason why my father took great interest in instructing me mathematics during my early school years, and had always taken great interest in my test scores in Mathematics & Physics. He was not lenient with his punishments if I made mistakes during those teaching sessions. I used to dread them, because there was no room for sloppy or imperfect work with him. And he sometimes spent several hours in the evening, teaching me mathematics.